God doesn’t need my parenting

My friends write books. Actual books. That get published. That people actually buy. important friends

My friends write articles that feature in magazines and internationally recognized blogs. They fly across the country to speak at conferences, write laws that save thousands of unborn children each year in my state. They start businesses, deliver babies, create albums, remove tumors, teach children to read and paint. And God doesn’t need a single one.

“God isn’t counting on me to complete the story He’s writing.”

Dottie spoke those words last night as my adoptive mamas gathered again to circle together for Wine and Whine, where truth dripped from our lips that our thirsty souls desperately need to remember as we seek to mother well. We know the deep truth that parenting requires effort, energy, wisdom. We want to be important, to matter, to see change.

important JesusBut the truth is that He doesn’t need me to change the lives of my children. He chooses to use me. But He isn’t counting on me. I say that not to minimize the role of my parenting in my kids’ lives, but to acknowledge that I try with all my might to change their hearts, modify their behaviors all in vain. It’s his work, his holy work alone that brings real change. My role is to be faithful, to point them to Jesus, to speak truth and love lavishly. But I’m just one person. I’m weak and inadequate and only by His grace am I keeping my head above water most days. He’s faithful to complete the good work He began in me and I must trust that He will be faithful to them.

So though God calls us to so many important roles, He really doesn’t need us. Thank goodness for that- I don’t want to serve a God that needs me, an almost 38-year-old mother of 5 to do anything. If He’s counting on me to keep things going, we’re all in trouble.

important pianoSo thank you to my people who do big things. Keep writing, keep speaking, keep slicing open and removing. Keep creating, keep welcoming new life into this world, keep reaching out to the underserved. I love each of you, what you do, how you serve the One who really doesn’t need you at all.

6 Replies to “God doesn’t need my parenting”

  1. Mary-
    I’m enjoying your blog more than you can know- you constantly affirm the way that I feel as a mother- I’m exhausted and often feel like I’m not doing well- but then I read your vulnerable words about motherhood and being a woman seeking God’s will and it really helps me realize that we are all in this together. I appreciate how you write (beautifully) and what you say! XOXO- Elizabeth Crews


  2. Every word you said is so true. God does use us to teach them about Jesus but he is the only one that knows what will happen in our life. Or the life’s of our children. Sometimes parents think their children’s happiness is totally up to them. It this can’t happen! Only through the love of God and the peace that comes from him will carry any of us through this life. Keep writing girl friend!❤️


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