the sick policy

I wasn’t the most honest kid. I was a gold medalist in whipping up faux colds and raising my temperature by touching the thermometer to a lightbulb….shaking the mercury down so it wouldn’t read a scalding 107. Our school’s sick room doubled as my second bedroom.

My shining moment though was when I had “the stomach bug”… disbelieving mom was on to me though. Conveniently, I only threw up when she had run out to the store or flushed an empty toilet after fake-gagging to try and pull off my stunt. At some point, she instituted the “don’t flush” policy. I knew I was about to be busted.

do not flush

Panicking and trying to continue my ruse I found an old ABC Spaghetti-o’s can in the back of the pantry. With my mom upstairs, I quietly opened it and slipped into the bathroom. I poured in what I thought was an appropriate amount and stepped back to examine my genius. How would she ever know?

Clearly, I’d misjudged her. Without a doubt, my Bob-Barker-Price-is-Right-watching came crashing to an end. With all of the letters still retaining their noodly exact shapes, it was too easy to disprove my illness.

This policy now lives on in our home. I’ve caught some of my own kids following in my footsteps. Just last night even I’m not sure what I saw but it wasn’t what she said it was.

So keep fighting mamas- stay a step ahead of your kiddos. They’re wily but we know better.

2 Replies to “the sick policy”

  1. Bob barker watching. Yes! I personally recall putting the thermometer on my very warm back after being snuggled in bed all night to achieve the perfect just slightly too warm to go to school temperature. I’ve told my kids they get 1 mental health day per school year as long as they’re honest & I don’t bust them faking illness. There’s always the threat of a strep test to inspire honesty too!


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